Life's not fair: get used to it
We clearly have sầu no choice about how we come inlớn this world, we have sầu little choice early in life, but as we grow older choices abound. I have long believed that while we have no control over the beginning of our life, the overwhelming majority of us have the ability to lớn influence the outcomes we attain. Fair is a state of mind, & most often, an unhealthy state of mind.
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In business, in politics, và in life, most of us are beneficiaries of the outcomes we have contributed lớn. Our station in life cannot, or at least should not, be blamed on our parents, our teachers, our pastors, our government, or our society - it’s largely based on the choices we make, & the attitudes we adopt.
People have sầu overcome poverty, drug addiction, incarceration, abuse, divorce, mental illness, victimization, & virtually every challenge known to lớn man. Life is full of examples of the uneducated, the mentally and physically challenged, people born into lớn war-torn impoverished backgrounds, who could have complained about life being unfair, but who instead chose a different path – they chose to lớn overcome the odds và lớn leave the world better than they found it. Regardless of the challenges they faced, they had the character to choose contribution over complaint.
I don’t dispute that challenges exist. I don’t even dispute that many have sầu an uphill battle due lớn the severity of the challenges they face. What I vehemently dispute is attempting khổng lồ regulate, adjudicate, or legislate fairness somehow solves the world’s problems. Mandates don’t create fairness, but people’s desire & determination can work around or overcome most life challenges.
It doesn’t matter whether you are born with a silver spoon, plastic spoon, or no spoon at all. It’s not the circumstances by which you come inkhổng lồ this world, but what you make of them once you arrive that matter. One of my clients came to this country from Africa in his late teens, barely spoke the language, drove a cab while working his way through college, và is now the President of a large công nghệ services firm. Stories such as this are all around us – they are not miracles, nor are they the rare exception. They vày however demonstrate blindness to the mindset of the fairness doctrine.
From a leadership perspective sầu, it’s a leader’s obligation to lớn vày the right thing, regardless of whether or not it’s perceived as the fair thing. When leaders attempt to lớn navigate the slippery slope of fairness, they will find themselves arbiter of public opinion và hostage khổng lồ the politically correct. Fair isn’t a standard khổng lồ be imposed unless a leader is attempting lớn impose mediocrity. Fair blends lớn a norm, and in doing so, it limits, inhibits, stifles, & restricts, all under the guise of balance & equality. I believe sầu fair only exists as a rationalization or justification. The following 11 points came from a commencement speech widely attributed to lớn Bill Gates entitled Rules for Life. While many dispute the source, whether it was proffered by Bill Gates or not, I tend lớn agree with the hypothesis:
Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used khổng lồ it!
Rule 2: The world won"t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you lớn accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won"t be a vice-president with a oto phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
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Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it"s not your parents" fault, so don"t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren"t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes & listening to lớn you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save sầu the rain forest from the parasites of your parent"s generation, try delousing the clomix in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have sầu done away with winners & losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have sầu abolished failing grades & they"ll give sầu you as MANY TIMES as you want lớn get the right answer. This doesn"t bear the slighkiểm tra resemblance to lớn ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided inkhổng lồ semesters. You don"t get summers off & very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave sầu the coffee cửa hàng và go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to lớn nerds. Chances are you"ll end up working for one.
Here’s the thing – we all face challenges, và life treats us all unfairly. We all make regrettable choices, và we all suffer from things thrust upon us bởi to lớn little if any fault of our own. When I suffered a debilitating stroke at an early age, I certainly asked myself “why did this happen lớn me?” I could have felt sorry for myself and became bitter, I could have sầu thrown in the towel và quit on my family và myself – I didn’t. It took two years of gut-wrenching effort, but what I thought was a great injustice at the time changed my life for the better. Today, you couldn’t tell I ever had a stroke. The greatest adversity life can throw at you simply affords you an opportunity lớn make changes, improve, và get better.
By the title of today’s column you have sầu no doubt surmised I believe sầu life is not fair, nor vì chưng I believe we should attempt to socially or financially engineer it to be such. Fair is not an objective term – it is a matter of perspective filtered by a subjective sầu assessment. My subjective sầu assessment is that fair is an entitlement concept manufactured khổng lồ appease those who somehow feel slighted. Life isn’t fair - #occupyreality
